Who Makes the Last Way

I had recalled having listened to the Christian song entitled "God will make a way" by Don Moen. The words were simple and precise and not to elaborate:


God will make a way, when there seems to be no way.
He works in ways we cannot see; He will make a way for me
He will be my guide, hold me closely to his side.
With love and strength for each new day,
God will make a way, God will make a way.


Often in the most damn and down time of our lives, which does not exclude mine, there are normally two things that we tend to do – seek divine intervention, or, force ourselves more downwards even coming to the point of blaming God or asking Him why such a thing had to happen to us.


In my journeys, I have come to be at a point almost lost and without God and I never even cared to ask for His help because I used to think that everything can be at my capacity.


The word trust is important. I have believed before in my own capabilities sometimes neglecting what is superior and divine. I have believed in myself, not realizing that sometimes I would need to entrust everything I do to God and make Him do the way for me, be it big or small.


He had tested my life several times and yet these things still never had moved my proud self until the day I was given the biggest cross in my existence so far – seeing my mother battle with cancer. I prayed, yes, but was still reluctant on a positive answer to my request, because I knew that time He would never give me my request to give my mother a longer life, which He never really did.


I was blank at for a moment in my life. I cried out in emptiness.


One day I heard that song and I reconciled my own self. He did not give what I wanted, my way. He did it His way.


He gave our earthly mother a short time to battle her disease; she barely had pain, as if she was just getting weak, and unlike all the others that I had seen faced death in pain and laborious breathing, God took her in a calm sleep, but more that that, she gave her the time to prepare herself and us for the reality that one day we will be separated.


He made it His way, and I trusted His will.


I still cry, but not in emptiness anymore but for longing to be in a day that God will make a way for me to be with Him and my mother at last.